Teenagers are going through a lot of changes both in the mind and body.
Understand that you may be at a cross-road too, as your hormones are leaving you, your child's hormones are raging in.
The hormonal changes in the body and being in a different environment in a different school are the changes they have to deal with.
They are learning to cope too.
This is a difficult period for both parents and child.
Both are dealing with change.
Keep an open mind.
Conscious and mindful parent coaching is a new way of parenting for harmonious and loving relationships.
Both children and parents need to be aware of the changes they are grappling with and to discover the need to focus on each other's strength; To support and encourage each other in this journey.
Solutions: Practise the 3As - Awareness; Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions of a parent coach.
1.
Being aware of how you feel (relaxed? anxious? worried?) One simple way is to have someone observe your facial expressions, listen to the tone of your voice.
2.
Being open to listen to your child might help you understand what he or she is going through.
3.
Being aware that you are not making assumptions on what she is going through is helpful.
Ask your child powerful questions.
Questions that would help you understand your child better.
The question most people asked is how am I going to practise the 3As? On the other end of the pool, it is really about how you feel at any given moment.
It is important to be in the right frame of mind especially when parents want to deal with a difficult situation.
Meaning the state of mind has to be calm and relaxed so that we do not get triggered when we do not agree with a certain behavior of our children.
One useful technique is to first ask your child when is a good time to talk and set a mutually convenient time where both of you are not distracted by TV, telephone, cooking, doing something else.
We need to do this to pay attention to each other.
This is a space we need to create to actively listen to each other.
Keep an open mind with each other.
Essentially, this action alone will make both child and parent feel respected.
It's the beginning of developing a good habit of respecting each other.
No one has to drop everything to communicate with each other and feel flustered when one of you is not ready.
Some times the child maybe chatting with friends, studying, playing computer games or sleeping, they cannot focus on what you are saying.
The parent maybe stressed by unfinished work from the office or pre-occupied by important decisions to make, with endless task to complete or tired from lack of rest.
Remember to ask questions rather than tell your children what to do.
When we tell them what to do, most of the time we are making the assumptions that it could solve their problem; and that it is what they need or want.
What you assume that might work for them may not be what they need or want.
They are on transition to a young adult.
They are meeting new friends and or meeting opposite sex and new teachers, trying hard to feel confident and to fit in.
Trying to find their own identity.
It would be wise to empathize with your child about the new environment that she is in.
If you cannot, reflect on your own experience when you were his or her age.
We all have forgotten how it was for us when we were teenagers.
Much as we like to deny this, a very common issue with teenagers, adults and anyone for that matter is the self-esteem and confidence that we do not wish to discuss.
Parenting teenagers is the most challenging times in parenting.
Keep an open mind that parents can learn something from teenagers as well.
They are exposed to technology and changes that we might not have access to if we have not kept up with the changes.
The idea here is to connect parents and teens to inspire each other to live life purposefully.
Beginning with one step at a time with the 3As of parent coaching skills.
Life is a marathon and not a sprint.
Understand that you may be at a cross-road too, as your hormones are leaving you, your child's hormones are raging in.
The hormonal changes in the body and being in a different environment in a different school are the changes they have to deal with.
They are learning to cope too.
This is a difficult period for both parents and child.
Both are dealing with change.
Keep an open mind.
Conscious and mindful parent coaching is a new way of parenting for harmonious and loving relationships.
Both children and parents need to be aware of the changes they are grappling with and to discover the need to focus on each other's strength; To support and encourage each other in this journey.
Solutions: Practise the 3As - Awareness; Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions of a parent coach.
1.
Being aware of how you feel (relaxed? anxious? worried?) One simple way is to have someone observe your facial expressions, listen to the tone of your voice.
2.
Being open to listen to your child might help you understand what he or she is going through.
3.
Being aware that you are not making assumptions on what she is going through is helpful.
Ask your child powerful questions.
Questions that would help you understand your child better.
The question most people asked is how am I going to practise the 3As? On the other end of the pool, it is really about how you feel at any given moment.
It is important to be in the right frame of mind especially when parents want to deal with a difficult situation.
Meaning the state of mind has to be calm and relaxed so that we do not get triggered when we do not agree with a certain behavior of our children.
One useful technique is to first ask your child when is a good time to talk and set a mutually convenient time where both of you are not distracted by TV, telephone, cooking, doing something else.
We need to do this to pay attention to each other.
This is a space we need to create to actively listen to each other.
Keep an open mind with each other.
Essentially, this action alone will make both child and parent feel respected.
It's the beginning of developing a good habit of respecting each other.
No one has to drop everything to communicate with each other and feel flustered when one of you is not ready.
Some times the child maybe chatting with friends, studying, playing computer games or sleeping, they cannot focus on what you are saying.
The parent maybe stressed by unfinished work from the office or pre-occupied by important decisions to make, with endless task to complete or tired from lack of rest.
Remember to ask questions rather than tell your children what to do.
When we tell them what to do, most of the time we are making the assumptions that it could solve their problem; and that it is what they need or want.
What you assume that might work for them may not be what they need or want.
They are on transition to a young adult.
They are meeting new friends and or meeting opposite sex and new teachers, trying hard to feel confident and to fit in.
Trying to find their own identity.
It would be wise to empathize with your child about the new environment that she is in.
If you cannot, reflect on your own experience when you were his or her age.
We all have forgotten how it was for us when we were teenagers.
Much as we like to deny this, a very common issue with teenagers, adults and anyone for that matter is the self-esteem and confidence that we do not wish to discuss.
Parenting teenagers is the most challenging times in parenting.
Keep an open mind that parents can learn something from teenagers as well.
They are exposed to technology and changes that we might not have access to if we have not kept up with the changes.
The idea here is to connect parents and teens to inspire each other to live life purposefully.
Beginning with one step at a time with the 3As of parent coaching skills.
Life is a marathon and not a sprint.
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