A parent on the forum wonders: Is it normal to have thoughts sometimes that having children was a big mistake? My kids are teenagers, successful in many ways, and naturally separating from their father and I. Sometimes the way they chose to assert their independence is so cruel. Both have said such horrible things to me in anger- global statements rejecting our family and my husband and I as parents and people.

I imagine in time they will regret what they say, and perhaps they don't really mean the hateful comments ("this is the worst family ever", "no one in this family likes each other, we just pretend", "this is the most boring family, everyone makes fun of how horrible you all are as parents" , we will never get along, we are all just waiting to leave" etc..)

And the separation, it is so painful. I find myself thinking that if I had known it would hurt this bad I am not sure I would have had children. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Denise's thoughts: There are times when I wish the pressure to figure out what to do and do what is 'right' by my kids or their sometimes bad behavior towards me  and the worry gets to me. And I am one that will continue trying to 'fix' things - like when they say hurtful things to me - until I'm overwhelmed. Then I realize, that I've got a part in this problem and it's time to take some 'me time'.

It's helped me feel stronger through this natural separation process that is as much a part of parenting as teaching them to walk.

(She types with tears in her eyes.) It is the hardest job ever, but no I haven't gotten to a point where I've regretted it.

Asking our parenting community: Do you ever feel this way? Please share your thoughts, experiences and opinions in the comments area.

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