Supporting parents who are pregnant or want to conceive is both a privilege and an honor.
This article presents three important ways in which you can provide emotional assistance to your clients.
Really tune into your client.
The most important skill for birth workers--and helping professionals in general--is deep listening.
Moms really want to be heard and understood, first and foremost.
So when you work with a Mom, put aside any distracting thoughts of What do I need to get at the grocery store? or any feelings that get in the way of being present to your client in that moment.
Your calming, sensitive presence is your best intervention and the most important tool in your birth bag.
You will find that by calming yourself, you are assisting your client, as well.
That's what allows you to really tune into her needs: Does she want you to hold her hand or does she need some more space? Maybe she needs someone beside her physically, yet needs people to 'back off' energetically.
Perhaps it's actually unhelpful for her to have you count when she pushes; this might be another distraction, an external structure against which she must measure herself and her 'progress' or 'competency' to birth.
By tuning it, you get an accurate intuitive measure of what will serve her best at that particular moment.
Match your client's energy.
When you match your client's breathing and vocal tones, you attune with her at a non-verbal level.
You create an atmosphere of peace, joy and strength.
Without even having to say, Now I want you to breathe like this you are modeling optimal breathing for her.
There's this connection that happens on an energetic, non-verbal level.
You don't even have to open your mouth and give her instructions; that information is processed by the rational part of her brain.
After all, hearing numbers pulls her out of her natural instincts.
Instead, allow her to stayed grounded in the ancient wisdom of birthing that has brought generations of babies safely onto the planet.
In matching her energy, you are also creating a sacred space that honors your client and allows her to feel safer and more authentic.
Ask permission to give feedback.
Not only do women have a heightened sensitivity to smells, environmental toxins, and temperature changes during pregnancy--they are vulnerable to unsolicited advice, as well.
Sure, pregnant moms need information; sometimes they don't realize that certain choices could negatively impact the outcome of their pregnancy.
At the same time, they get bombarded with different philosophies and a whole checklist of dangers.
Need to take folic acid.
Can't eat tuna because it has mercury.
Shouldn't do this...
it could hurt the baby.
Shouldn't do that...
it might cause pre-term labor, etc.
As support providers, we need to tread very lightly.
Before giving advice, find out what's really going on before jumping to a conclusion.
After fully listening, first ask, May I give you a tip that might be helpful for that?.
If she says it's alright, briefly make your point.
When she gives her consent first, she will be in a better position to receive the valuable information you have to offer.
It can be a tough job to work as a doula, midwife or other childbirth professional.
And yet the rewards are great.
When you support an expectant family with compassion and sensitivity, you serve as a positive influence for the rest of their baby's life.