"The world is not as it is but as we are".
Anais Nin Have you ever thought about ending a relationship because you're in the same old rut with the same old person? Consider the case of Dr.
Willem Kolff.
Dr.
Willem Kolff died on February 13th, 2009.
You probably haven't heard of Dr.
Kolff.
I hadn't either.
Dr.
Kolff developed the first artificial kidney that evolved into the dialysis machines in use today and was the primary creator of the world's first artificial heart, the Jarvik-7 (Dr.
Robert Jarvik's name is attached to it because, according to Dr.
Kolff's obituary, it was "Dr.
Kolff's policy to attach the name of the co-worker who was currently working on any particular model of artificial heart.
").
As interesting as that was, I was intrigued when I read at the end of the obituary, "In 1937, Dr.
Kolff married Janke C.
Huidekoper.
They divorced in 2000 after 63 YEARS OF MARRIAGE (emphasis mine).
" Dr.
Kolff was 97 when he died.
He was 88 when he divorced his wife.
Are you as amazed as I was that he the divorce occurred after 63 years? There is no mention in the obituary of Dr.
Kolff marrying again or of another relationship (at 88, it wouldn't have been hard for him to find a younger woman).
Perhaps, as a friend of mine suggested, the divorce had to do with income taxes or his wife's health.
Or perhaps there's a clue to the Kolff's divorce in a June 4th, 2010 New York Times article called, "The 40-Year Itch" (titled in honor-or memory-of the impending Al and Tipper Gore divorce after 40 years of marriage).
According to the article, the fastest growing segment of divorce lawyer's clientele is the middle aged and elderly.
As the article states, "No matter how comfortably situated they are, how lovely their home and successful their children, they divorce because they cannot go on living in the same old rut with the same old person.
" Perhaps this is what happened to Dr.
Kolff and his wife.
Perhaps this is what happened in the Gore's marriage.
Perhaps this is a version of what happens whenever one considers ending any relationship.
However, we might consider who is being referred to as "living in the same old rut with the same old person.
" Perhaps the "same old person" is staring at us in the mirror and we're simply projecting that on to a partner.
Perhaps the world really isn't as it is but as we are.
Perhaps it's our partner who is sitting across from that "old rut" and wondering when we're going to change.
Unfortunately, we won't escape this old rut with a new relationship.
We think it's the new relationship that's renewing us.
Perhaps it's the other way around.
We renew ourselves and only think it's the new relationship that is the cause.
After all, the grass always looks greener on the other side.
Until we have to mow it.
We can choose to renew ourselves right here and right now and, in so doing, renew our relationship.
Anais Nin Have you ever thought about ending a relationship because you're in the same old rut with the same old person? Consider the case of Dr.
Willem Kolff.
Dr.
Willem Kolff died on February 13th, 2009.
You probably haven't heard of Dr.
Kolff.
I hadn't either.
Dr.
Kolff developed the first artificial kidney that evolved into the dialysis machines in use today and was the primary creator of the world's first artificial heart, the Jarvik-7 (Dr.
Robert Jarvik's name is attached to it because, according to Dr.
Kolff's obituary, it was "Dr.
Kolff's policy to attach the name of the co-worker who was currently working on any particular model of artificial heart.
").
As interesting as that was, I was intrigued when I read at the end of the obituary, "In 1937, Dr.
Kolff married Janke C.
Huidekoper.
They divorced in 2000 after 63 YEARS OF MARRIAGE (emphasis mine).
" Dr.
Kolff was 97 when he died.
He was 88 when he divorced his wife.
Are you as amazed as I was that he the divorce occurred after 63 years? There is no mention in the obituary of Dr.
Kolff marrying again or of another relationship (at 88, it wouldn't have been hard for him to find a younger woman).
Perhaps, as a friend of mine suggested, the divorce had to do with income taxes or his wife's health.
Or perhaps there's a clue to the Kolff's divorce in a June 4th, 2010 New York Times article called, "The 40-Year Itch" (titled in honor-or memory-of the impending Al and Tipper Gore divorce after 40 years of marriage).
According to the article, the fastest growing segment of divorce lawyer's clientele is the middle aged and elderly.
As the article states, "No matter how comfortably situated they are, how lovely their home and successful their children, they divorce because they cannot go on living in the same old rut with the same old person.
" Perhaps this is what happened to Dr.
Kolff and his wife.
Perhaps this is what happened in the Gore's marriage.
Perhaps this is a version of what happens whenever one considers ending any relationship.
However, we might consider who is being referred to as "living in the same old rut with the same old person.
" Perhaps the "same old person" is staring at us in the mirror and we're simply projecting that on to a partner.
Perhaps the world really isn't as it is but as we are.
Perhaps it's our partner who is sitting across from that "old rut" and wondering when we're going to change.
Unfortunately, we won't escape this old rut with a new relationship.
We think it's the new relationship that's renewing us.
Perhaps it's the other way around.
We renew ourselves and only think it's the new relationship that is the cause.
After all, the grass always looks greener on the other side.
Until we have to mow it.
We can choose to renew ourselves right here and right now and, in so doing, renew our relationship.
Source...