Would you like to understand the impact arguing will have on your chances to get back your ex? It's amazing how simple this advice is and yet how absolutely difficult it is to adhere to it following a breakup.

The impact of arguing with your ex could be total disaster! It could put an end to any possibility of you ever getting back together again and should not be underestimated!

Put simply... don't Argue or Debate!

Have you ever seen someone win an argument? I think we've all seen or been a part of arguments where one person states their views more effectively or convincingly.

But that doesn't mean they've won!

Look, you only "win" an argument if you can change the other person's point of view. It's pretty rare for one person to say to the other- "you know, you're right. I was wrong but you've shown me the error of my ways. Thank you"

Now, if you throw in the added emotions caused by a break up - rejection, anger, sadness, jealousy, defensiveness, (just to name a few!) - It's pretty clear it's almost impossible to win an argument after a breakup.

Arguments simply cannot be won where there's resistance, and after a breakup there's always resistance, isn't there? All that happens is the other person ends up feeling more resolved in their position than ever before.

Look at it this way...

From your point of view... Your logic suggests you can change your ex's mind by presenting the facts as you see them. Once your ex hears your case they will be left with no choice but to return to you because not doing so would be foolish! Right? Dream on!

From your ex's viewpoint... All they're hearing is "words, words, words!" All they're really hearing is that they are being second guessed and criticized. It doesn't matter how delicately you try to state your case. By the simple fact you're questioning their decision at all, you're disagreeing with them. Their natural reaction is defensiveness and resistance!

It's a no win situation. When I look back at my own relationships and the times I tried to argue my side and make my partner change their mind, I realise I had no chance of getting them to change their mind. So why did I argue and criticize? Probably for my own benefit, to let off steam or release frustration. But that doesn't work either. No one walks away from an argument feeling relieved. Instead, they tend to end up more frustrated than they were before the argument.

So look, if you decide to argue with your ex, you lose twice. You don't get the relief or satisfaction you think may come from airing out your side of the situation. And you don't bring your ex any closer to you - in fact, you push them away.

Arguing is a natural human reaction, so don't beat yourself up if you've already argued with your ex after a tough breakup. However, it's time to understand that arguing ruins any chance you may have of getting back your ex.

You have to be better than that. Walk away. You'll re-enter the picture soon enough and in a much more positive light. One that will attract your ex back to you and lead you both towards a stronger and closer relationship.

If your best efforts at getting back together, aren't working. Consider a new approach.