Try cooking a meal for a trained chef, especially one who's a perfectionist.
Food to him is an emotional experience, one that excites not only the taste buds but all his senses which, I might add, seem to be very finely tuned.
If the meal is not exactly right i.
e.
temperature, presentation, texture and taste (his taste) it upsets him like you wouldn't believe.
Ever walked on the edge of a slippery cliff? You can be as careful as you like but the probability of slipping is extremely high.
Okay, you say, that's easy solved, let him do the cooking! Good idea and that works.
It's great having someone cook for you, but wait a minute, with seemingly little else to offer this person it feels like just another slight against me.
I don't need you to cook, clean, sew, do my washing, he says, I've been doing these things since I was eight! Yes I feel redundant! Don't get me wrong, I'm a hard worker and run my own business.
Actually it's most often me who pays the bills which is another source of contention because I know how easily he makes money but he often says he doesn't want to go to work because he's not inspired by me.
Talk about feel demoralized.
I've never been aggressive or had an angry nature but sometimes I just want to scream and lash out.
That's not me.
Who is this person I'm becoming? I've never been a very expressive person and instead of verbalizing the things that upset me it was always easier to withdraw into myself or just cry.
Do you know what it's like to be unable to put words to your feelings? But worse still, I often felt there were no feelings to put into words, I mean my mind seemed empty and I didn't know there was even a need to search out my feelings.
He, on the other hand, is very in-touch with his feelings and expresses them with great depth of understanding.
Herein lies some of the frustration.
He wants me to share deep thoughts and feelings with him but I'm unable to.
I feel really inadequate.
So then his feelings turn to frustration and sometimes anger which makes me withdraw even more.
Boy I wish words flowed out of me! You have no idea how frustrating it is - or maybe you do.
Sometimes I feel like an emotional desert.
Is this normal? Food for thought: Is it your responsibility to inspire your partner to go to work? His personality type is squashing your sensitive nature and it's likely that remaining in this situation will only cause further feelings of inadequacy on your part.
Should you really be together? Would you shine in different circumstances? Should you consider divorce?
Food to him is an emotional experience, one that excites not only the taste buds but all his senses which, I might add, seem to be very finely tuned.
If the meal is not exactly right i.
e.
temperature, presentation, texture and taste (his taste) it upsets him like you wouldn't believe.
Ever walked on the edge of a slippery cliff? You can be as careful as you like but the probability of slipping is extremely high.
Okay, you say, that's easy solved, let him do the cooking! Good idea and that works.
It's great having someone cook for you, but wait a minute, with seemingly little else to offer this person it feels like just another slight against me.
I don't need you to cook, clean, sew, do my washing, he says, I've been doing these things since I was eight! Yes I feel redundant! Don't get me wrong, I'm a hard worker and run my own business.
Actually it's most often me who pays the bills which is another source of contention because I know how easily he makes money but he often says he doesn't want to go to work because he's not inspired by me.
Talk about feel demoralized.
I've never been aggressive or had an angry nature but sometimes I just want to scream and lash out.
That's not me.
Who is this person I'm becoming? I've never been a very expressive person and instead of verbalizing the things that upset me it was always easier to withdraw into myself or just cry.
Do you know what it's like to be unable to put words to your feelings? But worse still, I often felt there were no feelings to put into words, I mean my mind seemed empty and I didn't know there was even a need to search out my feelings.
He, on the other hand, is very in-touch with his feelings and expresses them with great depth of understanding.
Herein lies some of the frustration.
He wants me to share deep thoughts and feelings with him but I'm unable to.
I feel really inadequate.
So then his feelings turn to frustration and sometimes anger which makes me withdraw even more.
Boy I wish words flowed out of me! You have no idea how frustrating it is - or maybe you do.
Sometimes I feel like an emotional desert.
Is this normal? Food for thought: Is it your responsibility to inspire your partner to go to work? His personality type is squashing your sensitive nature and it's likely that remaining in this situation will only cause further feelings of inadequacy on your part.
Should you really be together? Would you shine in different circumstances? Should you consider divorce?
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