Greetings, Express Riders!

Well, we have some hot spots this week! However, as you know, Kaydee’s hot spots weigh out evenly on both the positive and negative sides. Load up on your survival kits and get on board, the Loonview Express is now departing. First stop, Loonview Law.

Law & Order-Part One-A Damsel IS the Distress!

Jeez, is ANYONE else just sick of Inez? This double-coated martyrdom is sickening!

She’s a victim of domestic abuse, we got it. She’s afraid for her sons, we got it. Clint the Pimp is riding her to destroy his little brother by exploiting her in adulterous sex on a stick or remain victim to her ex. WE GOT IT! But here’s the flip side….

The title of “Inez the Victim” came to an end for me when it became evident that she is down with the plan on some level. She had PLENTY of opportunities to tell SOMEBODY SOMETHING! If she was truly “conflicted” with her situation, she would have told Bo the truth. It would have put her in a better light, and maybe they could have agreed to pretend to go through with it. Ah, but then there’s the pesky little problem that the Commish is..um..MARRIED! So, let’s explore another option. Tell John! Instead of telling him what happened, she opts for psycho therapy. And what does she get for that gesture? A referral to the biggest prank in town…”Doctor” Marty Saybrooke! HA HA HA! I think I nearly choked on my soda when John said he knew a “really great psychiatrist” and “Marty Saybrooke” in the same sentence!

And then, twisted as this may seem, even telling Marty was an option. There’s the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing, (which works perfectly since Marty doesn’t know a thing about that rule), and then she could have gotten the word out without having really said it herself. Whatever the method, Inez didn’t seem too eager to get out of the plan. She questioned the validity of the texts to Bo’s phone, yet quickly accepted Clint’s word that he didn’t know anything about them. Of course she would! Clint wouldn’t lie, would he?

And Bo is not off the hook, either. What kind of idiot talks up the details of a marital dispute against his wife with the person who CAUSED THE DISPUTE?????? AARGH!! He and his wife are having a argument, she storms off, and he goes to diner and has coffee with Inez? And the cherry on the top of this sundae is that Bo broadcasted the details of the texts, followed by his own personal commentary on their content, to Inez. What a great way to mend the fences with your wife.

I am in no way excusing Nora for her childish pettiness in all this. She did not deal with her woman’s intuition or her insecurities well at all. She consistently displayed jealousy, ribbed Bo about Inez while dismissing his assurances that he would never be unfaithful. But then again, Bo jumping up like he sat on a thumbtack and racing off to rescue Inez every time she came with her boo-hoos didn’t quell her insecurities.

He should have been searching for his wife when she walked off, like any husband who’s upset about a fight. Instead, he allowed himself to be drawn right into his brother’s schemes. He’s almost as inefficient a husband as he is a police commissioner. Writers, are you listening? The Loonview Express is on to the next station.

Law & Order-Part Two: Showdown at the Shrink’s!

Never let it be said that a person being blackmailed can’t fight back! Marty’s illegally obtained copy of Natalie’s DNA results fell into the hands of Rex, which eventually got back to Natalie. Natalie, in a frenzy of panic and rage decided to set Marty straight. This was one of my personal highlights, readers. Natalie rushes off to the hospital and just as Inez is boo-hooing about how she’s stuck in this scheme, she storms into the room and ends the session. I’ll do my best to sum it up for you.

Natalie, very loudly and angrily informs Marty that she’s had enough of Marty’s law-breaking. She tells Marty about her meeting with Rex. Then she tells her that she’s sick of being blamed for everything that goes bad in Marty’s life. She’s sorry that Cole went to prison, but he didn’t go there because Natalie caused him to commit murder. Nor did she cause Marty to lose her baby, and Marty has to get that into her crazy little head so she can move on. Marty continues on with her rants about Natalie having hurt John with her affair with Brody and now she’s lying to him some more. Needless to say, folks, the catty insults and threats were plentiful, and somewhere in the mix, Marty ticked Natalie off enough to make her deliver one hard slap clear across Marty’s face! (It’s about time! If you ask me, it was the hormones that made her do it). Marty left Natalie with a warning that she can drop the bomb on her life anytime she wants to—If she ever does at all. The only question for Natalie is…WHEN will she do it?

(Cue music: The theme music from the movie “Halloween”).

Natalie tells her that she is going to strip Marty’s hold over her head and tell John the truth herself, and then what will Marty do for entertainment? Marty tells Natalie that she doesn’t have the guts to come forth. Natalie dares Marty to watch what happens next and leaves a rattled Marty alone in her office.

Law & Order—Part Three: The Buchanan Superbroom Flies Again!

Okay, I am more convinced than ever that the Loonview Police Department was originally created to be amusing in a kid’s cartoon. WHAT DOES IT TAKE for ANY of Loonview’s Finest to actually solve a darned crime? There’s a million crimes being committed, and there’s only one damned criminal behind them all! CLINT! Please, writers! END THIS!!! This entire storyline is dangerous to viewer’s health! The district attorney is in captivity, by the biggest lowlife in town, and the only law enforcement figure who seems to be Nora’s only hope is Rex! Now let’s put that down on the lab table, shall we?