You and your siblings undoubtedly had arguments when you were small, and now that you're all grown up, you've learned how to co-exist more peacefully.
That is, until there is a big issue in the center of the disagreement, and you may find yourself back to arguing like kids.
One of the issues that can really divide siblings is how to care for aging parents.
Even if you're the main caregiver and your siblings live all over the country, they're still going to want to put in their two cents worth.
When that happens, what should you do? My husband experienced this when his mother became unable to care for herself.
She was 94 years old at the time.
His sister took her into her home with the main purpose of stealing everything she owned.
She also abused her own mother, forcing her to lie in bed for hours at a time and feeding her one bowl of soup to cover both breakfast and lunch.
My husband got wind of these things, and he wanted to move Mom from the sister's home and into a nursing facility that could give her better care.
However, when he tried, brothers and sisters from as far as California and North Dakota, who knew nothing of what was going on, chose to believe the sister who told them that she was taking excellent care of their mother.
In the end, Mom ended up in the hospital where medical personnel called in human services because she was encrusted with dirt and black and blue all over her body.
The sister screamed at my husband in the hospital hall accusing him of getting her in trouble, which he had not done.
Finally, Mom passed away, so all the hassle could cease.
She was buried next to her husband where she wanted to be using a prepaid funeral plan my husband had purchased for her.
The sister had tried to get the money he had paid in, but thank goodness the funeral home refused to let her have it, so it was still available when needed.
In our case, there was no compromise.
Hopefully in your situation there are ways you can work out agreements with your siblings.
It can be difficult if siblings haven't seen their parent in years and remember them still being hale and hearty, but if you're in a position to see their decline, you need to stick to your guns.
Stay in close communication with your siblings so that they can see your parent's condition deteriorating.
Obviously if your parent is in danger of hurting themselves if left alone, you will need to seek out some type of home or residential care, and hopefully by that time, your siblings will understand the necessity of the move.
That is, until there is a big issue in the center of the disagreement, and you may find yourself back to arguing like kids.
One of the issues that can really divide siblings is how to care for aging parents.
Even if you're the main caregiver and your siblings live all over the country, they're still going to want to put in their two cents worth.
When that happens, what should you do? My husband experienced this when his mother became unable to care for herself.
She was 94 years old at the time.
His sister took her into her home with the main purpose of stealing everything she owned.
She also abused her own mother, forcing her to lie in bed for hours at a time and feeding her one bowl of soup to cover both breakfast and lunch.
My husband got wind of these things, and he wanted to move Mom from the sister's home and into a nursing facility that could give her better care.
However, when he tried, brothers and sisters from as far as California and North Dakota, who knew nothing of what was going on, chose to believe the sister who told them that she was taking excellent care of their mother.
In the end, Mom ended up in the hospital where medical personnel called in human services because she was encrusted with dirt and black and blue all over her body.
The sister screamed at my husband in the hospital hall accusing him of getting her in trouble, which he had not done.
Finally, Mom passed away, so all the hassle could cease.
She was buried next to her husband where she wanted to be using a prepaid funeral plan my husband had purchased for her.
The sister had tried to get the money he had paid in, but thank goodness the funeral home refused to let her have it, so it was still available when needed.
In our case, there was no compromise.
Hopefully in your situation there are ways you can work out agreements with your siblings.
It can be difficult if siblings haven't seen their parent in years and remember them still being hale and hearty, but if you're in a position to see their decline, you need to stick to your guns.
Stay in close communication with your siblings so that they can see your parent's condition deteriorating.
Obviously if your parent is in danger of hurting themselves if left alone, you will need to seek out some type of home or residential care, and hopefully by that time, your siblings will understand the necessity of the move.
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