Whether you are a mother or a father, many of us have embraced the possibilities which exist between running a family and having a full time career. Some of us do this so we can support our family, some for the satisfaction related to employment, and for others it is to lock up early retirement or powerful financial stability. Whatsoever your reasons for functioning might be, it is vital to recognize how your daily work routine not only influences you but also your family.
As a father I appreciate when I get home my son is usually excited to see me. He wants to tell me about his day, plans he might have, and may also want to play for a while. While on some days this is fine, but on others I just want to relax. While managing this case I had just unknowingly created parenting problems by embracing two techniques of parenting, one way where my son loses and I win, and one more method where my son wins and I lose.
Many parents like myself have a tendency to play the role of the parent based on day to day conditions rather than being aware about the parenting system I am making use of and the long-term consequences of that system. On some days after work I am simply exhausted due to heavy traffic, a long work day, or a lack of proper relaxation and nourishment. When I walk in the door I am looking forward to relaxing for a while when I am suddenly bombarded by attention from my son. While I often cheer interaction, on these days I simply want to be left alone to relax and this increases parenting problems.
My son who wants to interact is now being shut down by myself who is seeking leisure. I make excuses to avoid interaction, support him to look for substitute enjoyment and eventually turn towards punishments. While I may be able to relax now, my child is actually upset making a scenario where he loses and I win.
The other method I have employed which has built upon parenting issues can be seen with the scenario where my son wins and I lose. In this situation I am still tired from a long day of work but recognize how excited my child may be to communicate with me. Here I make the decision to skip the possibility for leisure I was so looking forward to and instead take the time to interact with my son playing games, listening to stories or working on homework.
Although I was happy with either one of the ways, I never realized that one of us was always on the receiving end. I never considered about the fact that these techniques will teach my child that one person is more important than the other one. Recognizing the parenting issues I may be developing, I made the choice to take advantage of a valuable resource providing parenting opinion. From this resource I found a 3rd way that will lead to a situation where we BOTH win all the time. To be honest, this had never crossed my mind!! A solution that might appear easy now was something I never had thought before.
As a father I appreciate when I get home my son is usually excited to see me. He wants to tell me about his day, plans he might have, and may also want to play for a while. While on some days this is fine, but on others I just want to relax. While managing this case I had just unknowingly created parenting problems by embracing two techniques of parenting, one way where my son loses and I win, and one more method where my son wins and I lose.
Many parents like myself have a tendency to play the role of the parent based on day to day conditions rather than being aware about the parenting system I am making use of and the long-term consequences of that system. On some days after work I am simply exhausted due to heavy traffic, a long work day, or a lack of proper relaxation and nourishment. When I walk in the door I am looking forward to relaxing for a while when I am suddenly bombarded by attention from my son. While I often cheer interaction, on these days I simply want to be left alone to relax and this increases parenting problems.
My son who wants to interact is now being shut down by myself who is seeking leisure. I make excuses to avoid interaction, support him to look for substitute enjoyment and eventually turn towards punishments. While I may be able to relax now, my child is actually upset making a scenario where he loses and I win.
The other method I have employed which has built upon parenting issues can be seen with the scenario where my son wins and I lose. In this situation I am still tired from a long day of work but recognize how excited my child may be to communicate with me. Here I make the decision to skip the possibility for leisure I was so looking forward to and instead take the time to interact with my son playing games, listening to stories or working on homework.
Although I was happy with either one of the ways, I never realized that one of us was always on the receiving end. I never considered about the fact that these techniques will teach my child that one person is more important than the other one. Recognizing the parenting issues I may be developing, I made the choice to take advantage of a valuable resource providing parenting opinion. From this resource I found a 3rd way that will lead to a situation where we BOTH win all the time. To be honest, this had never crossed my mind!! A solution that might appear easy now was something I never had thought before.
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