Our expectations for ourselves and our lives are set for us as children. In most cases this is not deliberate on our parents part, its totally accidental.
Did anyone ever tell you that you were just like your father or just like your mother and would or would not ever amount to anything?
Or maybe a teacher crushed your Rock Star hopes by telling you that you have a tin ear and no musical talent whatsoever.
These things usually slip out in a moment of anger and our parents, teachers, aunts, uncles etc. dont really mean it; but a child doesnt know that, our inner child (like the universe) is a literal being and holds on to these phrases, modeling our future expectations - Well Im never going to amount to anything anyway so I may as well get that teen pregnancy out of the way and marry the guy that abuses me just like good old Mom and Dad.
On the flip side there are some communities where only positive thoughts and images are imparted to the children Oh, you are such a smart and good boy, you are going to grow up to be a doctor and it actually works! Their children do grow up to be smart and well-behaved doctors.
Lesson here be careful what you tell your kids and what you allow others to say to your kids.
Expectations also come from events in our lives colliding with our belief system. Girls who are raped or sexually abused often become sexually promiscuous and lead destructive lives because they feel dirty and whorish and have no outlet for that. Once these same girls learn to change their expectancy, they are able to lead successful and balanced lives.
It has also been proven that children, who witness the physical abuse of a parent or are physically abused themselves, sometimes equate this abuse with love so they abuse their own spouse and children because they believe that this is how you show love.
Someone very close to me was raised in a household where her father was physically and verbally abusive, and her mother was cowed and docile. She ran away from home many times and was pregnant by age 16. Her sister fell into the same pattern also. Yet she believed that her father was a loving husband and parent. She once told me (with tears in her eyes in remembrance of her now diseased parent) that her father had told her that her mother was his soul mate. This girl expected the man in her life to curse and beat her, and when he treated her with love and kindness instead she called him names and finally cheated on him
As you can see our expectations are the blueprint for our behavior and our lives. What we create, what we become, who we are as human beings, the life that we choose to live is based on what we expect and what we believe we deserve out of life. There is a line in a song which expresses this perfectly:Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, are they going to drop the bomb or not (I cant remember who the songwriter is so if you know please drop me an email so I can give proper credit).
We often hope for good things but expect bad things and guess what we get the bad stuff, because through our expectations we are deliberately inviting the bad things or adverse outcomes.
My question to you is: What do you expect? Are you hoping for the best but expecting the worst because the worst seems to be your lot in life?
Change your expectations , and it will change your life.
Did anyone ever tell you that you were just like your father or just like your mother and would or would not ever amount to anything?
Or maybe a teacher crushed your Rock Star hopes by telling you that you have a tin ear and no musical talent whatsoever.
These things usually slip out in a moment of anger and our parents, teachers, aunts, uncles etc. dont really mean it; but a child doesnt know that, our inner child (like the universe) is a literal being and holds on to these phrases, modeling our future expectations - Well Im never going to amount to anything anyway so I may as well get that teen pregnancy out of the way and marry the guy that abuses me just like good old Mom and Dad.
On the flip side there are some communities where only positive thoughts and images are imparted to the children Oh, you are such a smart and good boy, you are going to grow up to be a doctor and it actually works! Their children do grow up to be smart and well-behaved doctors.
Lesson here be careful what you tell your kids and what you allow others to say to your kids.
Expectations also come from events in our lives colliding with our belief system. Girls who are raped or sexually abused often become sexually promiscuous and lead destructive lives because they feel dirty and whorish and have no outlet for that. Once these same girls learn to change their expectancy, they are able to lead successful and balanced lives.
It has also been proven that children, who witness the physical abuse of a parent or are physically abused themselves, sometimes equate this abuse with love so they abuse their own spouse and children because they believe that this is how you show love.
Someone very close to me was raised in a household where her father was physically and verbally abusive, and her mother was cowed and docile. She ran away from home many times and was pregnant by age 16. Her sister fell into the same pattern also. Yet she believed that her father was a loving husband and parent. She once told me (with tears in her eyes in remembrance of her now diseased parent) that her father had told her that her mother was his soul mate. This girl expected the man in her life to curse and beat her, and when he treated her with love and kindness instead she called him names and finally cheated on him
As you can see our expectations are the blueprint for our behavior and our lives. What we create, what we become, who we are as human beings, the life that we choose to live is based on what we expect and what we believe we deserve out of life. There is a line in a song which expresses this perfectly:Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, are they going to drop the bomb or not (I cant remember who the songwriter is so if you know please drop me an email so I can give proper credit).
We often hope for good things but expect bad things and guess what we get the bad stuff, because through our expectations we are deliberately inviting the bad things or adverse outcomes.
My question to you is: What do you expect? Are you hoping for the best but expecting the worst because the worst seems to be your lot in life?
Change your expectations , and it will change your life.
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