Here's a test to see whether or not you need a cup of coffee before reading any further
Have you ever stopped to notice when you want what you want are you getting what you REALLY want or just pacifying the want of the moment with a false want that seems like the real want and distracts you enough so that you never really realize the real want driving the moments want and so the deep want winds up going unfulfilled and driving you to continue chasing the surface want?
That's what I thought. Go ahead and get that coffee now and then we'll talk some more.
We all have wants and needs, agreed? Of course we do. If you think you don't, then you're going to need more help than just this devotional ;) It's not unusual for our decisions in everything from what car we drive, to how we dress, who we choose to date or engage in relationship with, or how we spend our money, to be driven by unconscious desires and needs.
The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)
All a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart. Proverbs 21:2 (NIV)
Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief. Proverbs 14:13 (NIV)
Unmet needs can drive us in powerful ways that defy our logical self. The urge to get the want met can be so strong we'll make choices that defy our own intelligent decisions, principles, and even morals. What's up with that? Let me give you an example from my own life.
I have a tendency to blow my budget eating out in restaurants. I go through periods where I can be self-disciplined and make it a point to eat at home, then I blow it multiple times eating out. It's not that I even spend all that much (soup and/or salad is pretty cheap) but I just REALLY want to go out!
On the surface, what's so bad about that once in awhile? Perhaps I should just budget an eating out allowance. Then I could eat out guilt free when I want to BRILLIANT! Sure if the issue at stake was actually about budgeting my money.
After stopping to examine my heart when I spent money I wasn't going to spend, in principle, I came to this conclusion. Sometimes I eat out simply out of convenience, or socializing with a friend. That's fine. Other times, there's something else going on - I eat out to comfort myself. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but I needed to dig deeper.
What's the comfort thing all about? I was feeling worn out and wanted someone to take care of ME for a change. I've always been the rock for everyone else and rarely, if not EVER, was there someone there looking out for me. Someone I could trust, rest in, and let them be the rock for a change while I caught my breath. THAT'S a sad thing to realize!
More recently, I've caught myself eating out because I wanted to be treated with courtesy and respect, treated like I was special. Whoa! It was a knee-jerk reaction to having endured ongoing disrespect in an important relationship. OUCH!
My heart needed some deep healing and I needed to make some relational changes!
When we finally get in touch with the true want or need beneath the SURFACE DESIRE we can make deliberate choices about how we're going to deal with our hearts pertaining to that, instead of just letting our desires rule us. We can spare ourselves SOOOOOO much grief when we're able to grasp this principle and begin to live honestly, and in touch with our craving souls.
Desire is NOT a bad thing. We come into this world hard-wired with wants, needs, and passions for a reason. A life without desire is a dreadfully empty way to live, where we only set ourselves up to become a ticking time bomb ready to explode down the wrong path when we can't take it anymore! If we try to squelch our real needs and desires of the heart we'll only wind up deluding ourselves and making poor decisions based on false information (the surface want masquerading as our hearts desire).
So Whatcha Gonna Do With That?
Try this experiment:
The next time you want to do something, be with someone, go somewhere, buy something, or whatever, even if it feels normal to you to do that, just STOP, be still, and ask yourself, What am I looking to get from this? What is this going to accomplish for me?
* Pay special attention to the times when neither hell nor high water is going to stop you from where you're headed, even when you know better!
* Pay special attention to the times when you are playing yourself for the fool in a relationship.
There's something going on there with your heart. DON'T just automatically fulfill the desire in the way you usually do or are panting to do right then.
Instead just STAND IN IT and be still. It might make you squirm, I know, but it could save you beaucoup regret in the long run.
Then, when you get a clue as to your soul's true craving (and it might not necessarily be a bad thing) you can intelligently CHOOSE how to best handle it
* Do you need some heart healing?
* Do you need to make some changes in a relationship?
* Do you need to seek wise counsel?
* Do you need to make a course correction?
* Do you need to practice delayed gratification?
* Do you need to give yourself permission to live out your hearts TRUE desire?
* Do you need to just walk away and not settle for less than God's best for you, even if it means waiting and putting the desire in God's hands for safe-keeping right now?
The more you are aware of the heartbeat of your soul, the better equipped you are to handle - in a healthy, appropriate, and infinitely more satisfying way - your REAL desires. Because, only then will you be in touch with the real MOTIVES for why you do what you do, and choose what you choose.
Thank you Lord for creating me, in your image, as a person of great desire and passion. I don't want my wants and needs to lead me astray because that is only a path to dissatisfaction, at best, and absolute destruction, at worst. Help me to understand what's going on, why I'm making the choices that I am, and what's driving me. You made my heart and so you know it better than I do. May your Holy Spirit catch me in the moment that I'm unconsciously plunging forward and lead me to the truth. I trust that with whatever I find there good, bad, or ugly you will be right beside me, helping me to deal with it rightly.
Until next time,
Annette
Helpful Resources:
In the Declaration of My Choices, (available as a FREE resource through www.LIFEwithGodDevotional.com ), refer to following sections:
I choose to guard my heart and renew my mind. Therefore, I will (Bullet point #10)
I choose a lifestyle of freedom and adventure. Therefore, I will (Bullet points #2 & #3).
Have you ever stopped to notice when you want what you want are you getting what you REALLY want or just pacifying the want of the moment with a false want that seems like the real want and distracts you enough so that you never really realize the real want driving the moments want and so the deep want winds up going unfulfilled and driving you to continue chasing the surface want?
That's what I thought. Go ahead and get that coffee now and then we'll talk some more.
We all have wants and needs, agreed? Of course we do. If you think you don't, then you're going to need more help than just this devotional ;) It's not unusual for our decisions in everything from what car we drive, to how we dress, who we choose to date or engage in relationship with, or how we spend our money, to be driven by unconscious desires and needs.
The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)
All a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart. Proverbs 21:2 (NIV)
Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief. Proverbs 14:13 (NIV)
Unmet needs can drive us in powerful ways that defy our logical self. The urge to get the want met can be so strong we'll make choices that defy our own intelligent decisions, principles, and even morals. What's up with that? Let me give you an example from my own life.
I have a tendency to blow my budget eating out in restaurants. I go through periods where I can be self-disciplined and make it a point to eat at home, then I blow it multiple times eating out. It's not that I even spend all that much (soup and/or salad is pretty cheap) but I just REALLY want to go out!
On the surface, what's so bad about that once in awhile? Perhaps I should just budget an eating out allowance. Then I could eat out guilt free when I want to BRILLIANT! Sure if the issue at stake was actually about budgeting my money.
After stopping to examine my heart when I spent money I wasn't going to spend, in principle, I came to this conclusion. Sometimes I eat out simply out of convenience, or socializing with a friend. That's fine. Other times, there's something else going on - I eat out to comfort myself. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but I needed to dig deeper.
What's the comfort thing all about? I was feeling worn out and wanted someone to take care of ME for a change. I've always been the rock for everyone else and rarely, if not EVER, was there someone there looking out for me. Someone I could trust, rest in, and let them be the rock for a change while I caught my breath. THAT'S a sad thing to realize!
More recently, I've caught myself eating out because I wanted to be treated with courtesy and respect, treated like I was special. Whoa! It was a knee-jerk reaction to having endured ongoing disrespect in an important relationship. OUCH!
My heart needed some deep healing and I needed to make some relational changes!
When we finally get in touch with the true want or need beneath the SURFACE DESIRE we can make deliberate choices about how we're going to deal with our hearts pertaining to that, instead of just letting our desires rule us. We can spare ourselves SOOOOOO much grief when we're able to grasp this principle and begin to live honestly, and in touch with our craving souls.
Desire is NOT a bad thing. We come into this world hard-wired with wants, needs, and passions for a reason. A life without desire is a dreadfully empty way to live, where we only set ourselves up to become a ticking time bomb ready to explode down the wrong path when we can't take it anymore! If we try to squelch our real needs and desires of the heart we'll only wind up deluding ourselves and making poor decisions based on false information (the surface want masquerading as our hearts desire).
So Whatcha Gonna Do With That?
Try this experiment:
The next time you want to do something, be with someone, go somewhere, buy something, or whatever, even if it feels normal to you to do that, just STOP, be still, and ask yourself, What am I looking to get from this? What is this going to accomplish for me?
* Pay special attention to the times when neither hell nor high water is going to stop you from where you're headed, even when you know better!
* Pay special attention to the times when you are playing yourself for the fool in a relationship.
There's something going on there with your heart. DON'T just automatically fulfill the desire in the way you usually do or are panting to do right then.
Instead just STAND IN IT and be still. It might make you squirm, I know, but it could save you beaucoup regret in the long run.
Then, when you get a clue as to your soul's true craving (and it might not necessarily be a bad thing) you can intelligently CHOOSE how to best handle it
* Do you need some heart healing?
* Do you need to make some changes in a relationship?
* Do you need to seek wise counsel?
* Do you need to make a course correction?
* Do you need to practice delayed gratification?
* Do you need to give yourself permission to live out your hearts TRUE desire?
* Do you need to just walk away and not settle for less than God's best for you, even if it means waiting and putting the desire in God's hands for safe-keeping right now?
The more you are aware of the heartbeat of your soul, the better equipped you are to handle - in a healthy, appropriate, and infinitely more satisfying way - your REAL desires. Because, only then will you be in touch with the real MOTIVES for why you do what you do, and choose what you choose.
Thank you Lord for creating me, in your image, as a person of great desire and passion. I don't want my wants and needs to lead me astray because that is only a path to dissatisfaction, at best, and absolute destruction, at worst. Help me to understand what's going on, why I'm making the choices that I am, and what's driving me. You made my heart and so you know it better than I do. May your Holy Spirit catch me in the moment that I'm unconsciously plunging forward and lead me to the truth. I trust that with whatever I find there good, bad, or ugly you will be right beside me, helping me to deal with it rightly.
Until next time,
Annette
Helpful Resources:
In the Declaration of My Choices, (available as a FREE resource through www.LIFEwithGodDevotional.com ), refer to following sections:
I choose to guard my heart and renew my mind. Therefore, I will (Bullet point #10)
I choose a lifestyle of freedom and adventure. Therefore, I will (Bullet points #2 & #3).
Source...